Afraid to Be Happy

I want to stick my thoughts into your flesh and leave them there until they become a part of you
Until there is no more „you" without me.
To inhale you all into my bitterness saturated lungs.
To drink you as my last drop of poison
then close my eyes
and feel my wings blossom.
I have been starving all of my life,
I want to feed on you.
Whisper words to you
until your ears are fed up with my voice.
Feel you falling asleep beside me
and crush my love
like a blind butterfly
under your breath.
My next birthday
will be the day when I die in your arms.

Forgive my fear...